Tuesday 4 February 2014

The Games We Play (aka Pranks from the Kidlets)

No Pictures this time, ran out of inking pens and have to get more :(- OneAwesomeMom

As a mother of three young boys, I put up with a LOT of disgusting crud on a daily. Some things are way more gag-inducing than others, but the absolute worst of the worst includes farting loudly... in public... then shrieking that the fart stinks so bad that someone will surely die... they're probably not wrong.

They also love to hand me bugs, slime, and random crap that creep the hell out of me. Seriously! The more legs, slime, hair, and creepier the better. My reactions are supposedly priceless.

Another thing they love to do is play this game where they eat the most random stuff: dipping apples in ketchup, drinking a concoction of soggy crackers, orange juice, and soup... licking random crud after smelling it... its completely on purpose and the goal is to see if Mom will gag (or better yet, puke. Bonus points if I dont make it to the toilet or outside in time).

My kids can be mean little creeps sometimes, but most of the time, I can handle it without so much as thinly pressing together my lips and/or turning green. I can usually smile and say "that's so gross guys!". 

For first-time mothers of boys, RUN AWAY and DO NOT make the mistake of labelling stuff as "gross" or "disgusting"!! They will run off with a look of absolute glee on their faces. As though their Birthday has come early and they've just gotten EVERY SINGLE THING THEY'VE EVER WANTED and like a Gazillion dollars with the loudest most annoying toy ever!!! I wish I was joking. They'll run off, huddle together, whisper at each other, and then pretend that they've forgotten it all. 

ITS A TRAP I TELL YA!!!

Please note, I have recently discovered that my threshold for disgusting stuff is lumpy/sour milk... they've also discovered this, and the look of pure serenity has washed over all three of their faces... I think I'm in trouble